Wednesday, September 2, 2009

What's normal?

O.K. so we are trying to establish a new normal. We got back from our third visit to the pediatrician in a week and a half. Yesterday, she was throwing up and struggling to eat again. When she does this, I convince myself that we are going to be life flighting her up north and that they are going to be telling me her heart is getting worse. She was hornery all day yesterday and really struggling. If this were my other kids, I wouldn't think twice, and chalk it up to fussy baby day. The days that she does this, I sleep horrible! I toss and turn all night to my husbands delight, counting her breathing and listening for her all night. Every time she would get close to sixty breaths per minute, my mind would race and I would think the worst. I have to figure out a way to relax at night because I am a walking zombie during the day.
We are adjusting her lasix right now. At the last appointment, they cut her lasix in half, but the doc down here felt like she needed to take the pressure off her heart. So after he called the cardiologists, she's back on it twice a day. It seemed to have helped, but she has lost five ounces since last week. This might not seem like a lot, but for her we are having to be very watchful. I wish I had some magical button that alerted me and gave me a readout as to when to take her in and what she needs. I probably am over thinking everything, but after her history, how can you not second guess yourself. Anyone, know of anyone giving away free massages? I think I need one. Big breaths, right now it's time for bed.


  1. Maybe it might offer you a little sleep knowing that I will pray for Ellie . I am adding her to my special heart angles list.
    I always wondered when my children were small, how do I know when it is time to take them in? WHat are the true symptoms?
    I know know that Mother's intuition will let you know for sure. Other times, just extra care and attention do the trick. Your family is lovely
    God Bless you Becca.

  2. I pray for Ellie every night! She is so precious. Looking a LOT like Macy!

  3. You are in our thoughts. I hope that you figure things out. Ellie is lucky to have a mommy like you!

  4. So sorry you have to go through all this! Your daughters are gorgeous! Will keep Ellie in our prayers. Hugs from Georgia and Roman's family.